


How to Train Your Human

by Blueberryshortcake



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Blue's Micro Aus, Dragon AU, Dragon!Wash, Fantasy AU, Gen, Prompt Fill, Watch as I make the plainest of names a dragony name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Blueberryshortcake
Summary: Humans, or at least this one in particular, had a talent for getting into dangerous situations.





	How to Train Your Human

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from Kineticallyanywhere: If you're still doing the mini aus: Wash and Caboose AU where one of them is a dragon

“Hey, Church?”

He wasn’t exactly sure how this had become his problem… but… he had adopted a human. 

He seemed to be fully grown, although that was hard to tell (he looked big when placed side by side with other humans). Daevv’id had found him wandering the wastes with no food, shelter, or water to speak of. Some of his kind might have scooped him up for a snack, but he–

It wasn’t that he was fond of humans. They generally caused trouble for him and his kind, but he … well they were (sort of) intelligent creatures, and they were very good at surviving… maybe he felt a weird kinship in that. 

So rather than eat him, Daevv’id landed.

“OH!” The human looked up. His surprise expression morphed into a giant grin. “Hello! Are you lost?” 

Shouldn’t he be the one asking the human that question? Daevv’id tilted his head to the side.

“I’m lost too,” The human admitted. “My name is Caboose.”

Daevv’id replied with his own name.

“Oh! That’s a lovely name. Wrrawrshiiiingtrrron…uh Rawrshengton? Could you repeat that?” 

He didn’t. Human vocal chord didn’t have the required tension and vibration frequency–nor the ears to hear it properly anyway.

“Maybe Church?” Caboose asked hopefully.

He tilted his head the other way. Well it wasn’t terrible. He gave a dip of the head.

“I like the name Church,” Caboose explained. “He’s a friend of mine I lost. I’m trying to find him.”

In a wasteland? 

He had filled his curiosity, but… leaving him out here in the open for the buzzards… Daevv’id bent down looking at Caboose expectantly.

Caboose, rather than climb on him like he thought he would, patted his snout. “I like your scales. They look grey, but in the light they turn blue. OH! You can join Blue team! Since I am the only one left I get to make all the decisions and you are officially Blue Team now!” 

He nudged Caboose with his snout. 

“Did you want to cuddle? I’m sorry I should really keep going. You can join me though! I like meeting new people, and you are on my Team… so it would make sense to stay together… you’re the rookie so I’ll take care of you.”

You have no supplies and are in the exact middle of the wastes. The fact that Caboose had made it this far was mind boggling. 

Daevv’d stood and carefully wrapped a talon around the human.

“OH! This isn’t how you handshake you knoOOOOOOOW!!!!”

Lifting off the human continued to make screaming noises, but they seemed joyful rather than afraid.

“THIS IS SO NEAT!!”

-

They parted ways after that, but it wasn’t long before he ran into the human again, this time in the freezing mountains.

“CHURCH! Hello again!!” The human’s face was red and he was shaking all over. Daevv’id lifted him up again and few him over the mountains, then quickly started a fire for the human to warm himself by. 

After a few more scenarios like this he concluded the Human was very bad at keeping out of trouble, and the easiest thing to do would be to look after him. He… kind of liked the large smiles, and familiar greetings. His Eyrie had been gone for a long time now… finding a … companion, even if it was a human eased his heart a bit. Finding him surrounded by bandits he had flapped his wings in annoyance. 

Really!?! There had been signs!!

He reared up and expanded his wings. The bandits dropped their weapons and scrambled to get away. 

“Hi, Church!” 

Caboose seemed more pleased than usual when he didn’t fly away. 

-

“Church?” Caboose repeated. Daevv’id was curled up and a comfortable cluster of rocks, Caboose rested in the middle of his coil. The dragon curved his neck a bit more so that he was facing the human.

“I know that Church, my Church went this way, we just have to keep going, but I don’t want you to feel worried. Church is my best friend, but I’ve decided that maybe all Churchs are my best friend, and since you are a Church you’re my best friend too.”

The dragon snorted affectionately. Friends… Friends with a human…

Yes. That sounded right. 

He dipped his head in agreement. 

-

“Caboose?! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” The small human (smaller than his human) with the sword brandished it awkwardly. He seemed to be trying to hide behind it though, rather than strike out. It was very bad form… someone should teach him how to use that…

“TUCKER!!” Caboose shouted from his perch on Daevv’id’s back. “HAVE YOU SEEN CHURCH!?”

“WHY ARE YOU ON A DRAGON!?!? WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN!?! WHY ARE YOU ON A FUCKING DRAGON!??!?!” 

“THIS IS CHURCH.”

“CHURCH GOT TURNED INTO A DRAGON?”

“NO. THIS IS A DIFFERENT CHURCH.” 

They went on like that for awhile, both were very loud. Humans liked to stand around and shout a lot.

“I’m not calling the dragon Church,” ‘Tucker’ crossed his arms peering up at him distrustfully. “What’s his actual name?”

Daevv’id obliged. 

“Uh… Rwashin-ton? Washington?” 

Well that was certainly closer than Church, although he wasn’t much inclined to make this guy’s life easier. It seemed he didn’t have a choice though.

“Washington it is,” Tucker said. “Okay. So. You have a dragon.”

It was the other way around. He was the one that picked up the human. “Can he like… fight?”

“Washingchurch is very good… and also very scary to people that are mean.” 

Yeah the bandits that tried to rob Caboose certainly thought so.

“So can he like… eat the Reds?”

What are Reds?

Are they delicious?

-

The others would laugh at him if they were around. Imagine, a Lance Dragon adopting a gaggle of humans.

“And you’re sure he’s not going to eat us?” Simmons repeated. All of them were leaning against him taking a break from their travels.

“Wash wouldn’t eat us!” Tucker said reassuringly. Then paused. “As long as Caboose is here.” 

“Right, I’m sitting next to Caboose,” Simmons grumbled.

“He’s pretty comfy for scales,” Grif said relaxing on his tail.

“If the Blues get a Dragon WE should get a dragon!” The one called Sarge had been griping about fairness the entire time. 

“I mean, Caboose seems to be willing to share the Dragon,” Simmons pointed out. 

“We’re not sharing Wash. He’s a teammate. He’s our leader now,” Tucker said.

“Wait what? The Dragon is Blue Leader? Bullshit,” Grif huffed. 

“It’s either him, me or, Caboose, and I don’t want to be leader,” Tucker said smugly. 

“He taught Tucker how to use a sword,” Caboose put in.

“He did–he MIGHT have helped my form a LITTLE bit,” Said Tucker.

“Church is a great leader,” Caboose was on his head grinning down at him. “He always shows up when you don’t have any food, or when you are cold, or when there are mean people…”

“How long was Caboose alone?” Grif asked. 

“Awhile…” Tucker said. “We got separated after that thing took Church.”

“And a dragon just decided to look after him?” Simmons asked. 

‘Wash’ snorted. He was right here. Simmons made an ‘eeping’ sound. The humans continued to talk and argue, and grumble, and Daevv’id–Wash felt… content. 

It wasn’t his old Eyrie… but… they’d do. 


End file.
